Lately I find myself more and more involved with people who keep thinking about the good old days. Whether they talk about music, family memories, travel, objects, it always seems that the present will never have a chance to match the magic and perfection of the past. Poor present… we often forget that it is the only time in our lives where we can intentionally act to improve things.
I hate memories with no purpose. Memories of this kind only lead to nostalgia and melancholy.
I dare even to say that I would erase them if I could. I know very well that every experience makes me what I am today and if I erased some memories I would be like a puzzle with missing pieces. I would become, if this is possible, even more incomprehensible to me.
In spite of my ideas about it, I find myself identifying in the past: I am the person who has suffered this loss, I am the person who has had this accident, I am the person who has been dismissed …
Do you notice something? The bitterest memories are tied to negative situations. I have read somewhere that at least five positive experiences are necessary to psychologically balance one negative experience. I think this is not entirely true either. Maybe in the present, but not for distant memories.
For example, being treated in a rude and unfriendly way in a store is not a good experience and, whether you react or you remain speechless, it is difficult to get rid immediately of what happened. However, if during the day you receive five manifestations of kindness or affection in other situations, the memory of how you have been treated in the store could disappear. Maybe it could be even useful in order to choose whether to go back or not.
It is very different when the memory is linked to a past trauma. In these cases so many factors come into play (sights, smells, sensations) and it is hard to find a good solution for everyone.
I found great help in a technique called EFT Tapping. You can find my articles here:
If you are interested in experiencing EFT, have a look at the link below regarding the 8th Tapping World Summit, starting on Monday, February 22. This is a totally free series of lectures and guided practices for those who want to get closer to this technique.
But there are also memories of beautiful experiences that make us happy in difficult times and that encourage us in creating others.
These are the memories to look back to from time to time, with the knowledge that even with small gestures of everyday life, we can help build the good memories of tomorrow.
These are not rhetorical words I assure you. Even in the darkest moments of my life, I have always tried to find a little light in every gesture, made or received, and if I could not find it, I would simply go on.
Life after all is the relationship with ourselves and every relationship requires love, commitment and patience. If we are willing to do this for the people we love, we must do the same with ourselves.
Take care of the person you are and choose the memories you want to keep with you. For everything else look for the right way to get rid of it.
Some experiences will stay with you forever, but you have the right to ensure that they do not hurt your soul every time you remember them.