Negative emotions do not exist

Just like positive emotions.

Welcome back! Today I want to talk about emotions.

In Chinese philosophy, too intense emotions are frowned upon, because they undermine our energy. In fact, Chinese people are not famous to express their emotions. Once I even heard a teacher define a Chinese lady like “a mother who could not express her love”.

Well, I think that everyone has her/his own way of expressing emotions.

Those who do not seem able to do it, maybe are simply afraid of it. And it is the same fear that leads us to make a distinction between positive and negative emotions, in an attempt to hold off the latter.

Too bad that the emotions, the thoughts, the feelings that make us most afraid and that we try to avoid are those we label as “negative”. They hide inside of us to evolve without our knowledge in all kinds of discomfort and malaise (feeling of inadequacy, dissatisfaction, depression, phobias, illnesses).

But do we really want to allow our emotions to do this to us, instead of looking at them straight in the face for fear of being afraid?

Repressed emotions are the brake of life. They are totally useless. And looking at this from a certain point of view the emotions we label as “positive” are unnecessary too, if they become an emotional shelter and a touchstone for every experience that we live.

Let me give an example for both cases.

If you think of a painful episode of your life, all the sadness, the despair of that moment surfaces and you just want not to think about it. If you can’t, you even start believing that you will never get rid of all that pain. Do you know why you feel so? Because, out of fear, you have repressed the pain linked to that experience in the moment when you were living it, because you were afraid to go out of your mind, because you did not want other people to worry about you, because you thought that maybe you would be able to return to normality more quickly …
Everyone can add her “because”, but that’s just the way it is.

And the only thing that such an experience can teach us is that when we get bad news, when we suffer a loss, when a misfortune strikes us, we have no duty other than suffer and feel all those overwhelming emotions  deeply, deep down to the core, until we are done with them, because only in this way we will come out free.

But what happens when we receive fantastic news, we get something we have wanted for so long, we fall crazy in love? We take the emotion of that moment and store it in the “perfect moments” department and from then on nothing will be just as good if it does not give us the same chills.

Memories, emotions … how much luggage we carry on this trip!

It is necessary to lighten it, sometimes essential.

From now on try to enjoy the moments and emotions exactly when they happen. If it’s something beautiful be grateful for it, otherwise do not ignore it and consider whether it can teach you something.

In both cases, however, let go of the emotions, feel light and make space. Only in this way life can welcome the new.

Try it, really!

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Thanksgiving and gratitude

Over the last 60/80 years, European and American cultures have mixed in many areas, in a literary, artistic, scientific and social exchange, which has had a big impact also on our daily lives.

Europeans are proud of their cultural roots that date back to the most ancient civilizations, but Americans are just as proud of their history.

I often happen to hear people say that America doesn’t actually have a very long history, yet I think that we Europeans have rested on the laurels of a glorious past, that goes back way too long ago to justify our pride. Points of view.

October 31st, Halloween, is just behind us and every year I hear people say and complain that it makes no sense to celebrate this date, that it means nothing for us, that it is a celebration invented by the Americans.

Regardless of whether this is true or not, I feel like asking some questions about this.

Could we live without it? Yes. Is it fun? Yes. Is it mandatory to celebrate? No.
The principles of democracy are saved!

A real all American celebration is Thanksgiving, which takes place every year on the fourth Thursday of November and practically starts the season of Christmas celebrations.

This tradition is regularly observed since 1863, when President Lincoln established it as a form of religious gratitude celebration.

The origin of Thanksgiving, however, is placed at the time of the Pilgrim Fathers in 1621. The story goes that they were not very successful with the seeds they brought from England, when they arrived in America. Later, with the help of Native Americans and their advice, they managed to get very generous crops and hence the celebration of a thanksgiving to God.

Surely the gratitude of the Pilgrim Fathers was tied to a very serious matter, the survival of their families, but every day you can feel and express this feeling, even for little things.

I don’t like talking about religion or faith, because I do not have the necessary expertise, but I think that talking about spirituality is for everyone. Spirituality is not linked to the name of an entity, to rites or to dogmas.

For me, spirituality means to be moved by nature, feeling real love without judgment, finding more meaning in an embrace than in beautiful words.

I feel gratitude for all this. I would like to celebrate Thanksgiving too!

I like to think of a group of people who meet to share the reasons to be grateful for … I do not think I’m betraying my ancient European roots!

Do you remember the definition of “Pollyanna Syndrome”, the famous idiot optimism? It is not about this, it is not about losing touch with reality, but to balance the scales.

Look around, listen: what do you see, what do you hear? Only complaints. Then don’t you agree with me that focusing on things we are grateful for one day a year could only be a good habit?

Have a nice Sunday!